I Need to Vent

I'm the fitness leader at work for about 80 military people. I have other fitness leaders that help me out with running the three fitness sessions a week that I have to do. Well, I should say I USED to have other fitness leaders to help me out. You see, I had 3 other guys and between the four of us, nobody had to do much. Then I turned control over to one of the guys, Ed, around January. Well, he moved to another group, so he handed it back over to me in April, and he's no longer around to help out. Another one of the guys also left to go to school at AFIT (the place I'll be going in August). So, that left me and Ben. Now Ben has always been pretty unreliable, but since I took back over, he has been scheduled to run a total of 8 sessions. Only 1 of those sessions, did he actually show up. 2 of those sessions, he called right before hand and said he wasn't going to be able to make it. And 5 of those sessions, he just didn't show at all. Now that is pretty frustrating, especially since he's the only other guy certified to help me out with this fitness stuff. So, today, I got this information together, asked if he had some time to talk, and went down to his desk to tell him that his performance is unacceptable. I was very nice about it. He really didn't care though, and said his job is more important than the fitness stuff, so it's always going to come first. I said that he was right, his main job should come first, but maybe he could look into some time management skills or something, because he has made a commitment to the Fitness Program that he is not fulfilling. That wasn't so bad, it's what happened next that really made me upset...The guy sitting next to him in his cubicle says, "I'm gonna butt into your conversation real quick." Then he proceeds to tell me that this was not an appropriate conversation for 2 Lts to be having. I should have had this conversation in private. I was way out of line to be talking to Ben that way. I said that I thought this wasn't a public setting, but he said it's completely public to all the cubicles around. It wasn't like we were shouting or anything. We were talking barely above a whisper. Anyway, I finished my conversation with Ben and went to the bathroom and cried. I absolutely HATE confrontation to begin with, so going down to talk to Ben was hard enough. Then getting berrated by some civilian guy for the way I did it made me feel like a huge failure. I talked to Armand later in the afternoon, and Armand was pissed at the guy for doing that to me. He pointed out that the guy completely contradicted himself about me not reprimanding Ben in public while he belittled me right in front of Ben. Completley undermining my authority. So with Armands prodding, I wrote this civilian guy an e-mail explaining how wrong he was. It was pretty nice, but got the point across that he did exactly what he was accusing me of doing, but worse. I just did it in front of random people that I did not think had anything to do with the Fitness Program or his leadership. This guy on the other hand belittled me right in front of someone he new I was in a leadership position over. Blah. Thanks for reading this far. Let me know if you think I was in the right or wrong on this...

On a lighter note, my brother-in-law (pictured with Legend) graduated from Medical School last weekend. He's now an official Docter. Pretty cool. Armand and I got to meet up in Little to see the graduation and spend some time with my family. It was an awesome weekend. A2 and the rest of my family got to meet Legend. Everybody loved him. It was really nice to have Armand there with me, too. I love that man!!! :)